you can work through a crisis

Juan Felipe Rubio

an anonymous email sent to me... i know that this is a controversial topic and am curious to hear what you all think about second chances:

dear lelove,

i want to tell you my story about love. it began in may the previous year, when i had a fling with a friend's older brother. at the time, i was so scared of commitment, that i ended it after a short while. i did not have a good explanation for doing this, and it was very sudden. we did not talk for all summer. when summer was gone, i heard he had gotten a new girlfriend. i was happy for him, as i just wanted to be friends with him, and a while later i contacted him so we could become friends again. the next half year we got closer and closer as friends, and i started to consider him my best friend, with whom i could share anything. but when winter was arriving i realized that my earlier feelings for him were coming back. of course, i did not tell him, as he was not available, but i am sure that we both felt a tension between us, a tension which we could not further explore due to his relationship.

suddenly, one day, when we were hanging out, he blurted out that he and his girlfriend had broken up that day. i was in one way shocked, as i had the assumption that their relationship was perfect, but also relieved, as we now did not have to suppress our emotions anymore. a few days later, on my birthday, i went to his house to be with him. at the moment he opened the door, we started kissing, and one thing led to another. after a while, our relationship grew and became known to our friends and family. everything was going great, until one day, i got my acceptance letter from the school i wanted to get into. The problem: it was in another country.

our relationship continued, but one day, a few months after i got the letter, he revealed to me that he had been unfaithful with two girls i knew. it was only once, and they did not go all the way, but i still felt it as a backstabbing and was very hurt. yet still, i did not break up with him, as i was still very much in love with him.

i am currently packing for traveling to the school which i was accepted to, and also working my way through the "crisis" in our relationship. i had always thought that if my boyfriend cheated on me, i would break up at once. but i gave him another chance, and i am learning to trust him again. and that is why i wrote to le love. to show people that even though your world seems to have collapsed. and you can work through a crisis. and most of all: i do believe that everybody deserves a second chance.

- anonymous